Research shows that having family rituals are important for children because it gives them a sense of belonging and makes them feel safe. (refer to articles worthy of a read at the end of this post).
Today I realised our family rituals are just as important to us as they are to the kids. Here’s why.
Family time means more to us than anything else. Since Israel’s depression in 2011, you could say Family Time has become our priority. It’s our line in the sand when we get busy. We ask ourselves, if we keep doing this, will it mean that we are spending less time with the kids.
Our measure of our line in the sand is:
– will I be able to take them to school, pick them up, cook a home-cooked meal for them
– will Israel be able to have one afternoon a week where he knocks of early and spends one-on-one time with each of the kids
– will we be able to spend Sunday together as a family unit?
Because we want our family time to be something the kids look forward to and remember in years to come (and hopefully follow the tradition with their own kids), we have made some family rituals and given them quirky names, such as:
– Fun Family Friday Night. Every Friday afternoon, we take the kids to get a movie from the Hoyts Movie box at the local convenience store in Coogee. They each get $1 to buy some lollies (about 7-8 lollies). This is a big source of excitement for the kids because as a general rule, we do not have lollies in the house. On the same token, I don’t want lollies to be something that the kids feel the need to get from someone else and to hide from us. The kids also get to choose a low-fi meal for me to cook – pizza, nachos, chicken salad, pies etc and we eat it together whilst watching they movie, and the biggest excitement of all – they get to stay up later than normal!
– Saturday is Super Silly Saturday. It’s Mummy, Ril & Indrani day. Israel is usually working on something, so the 3 of us do silly things like putting dish-washing liquid on the trampoline to make it slippery and jump/slide/fall around. Paint or textas usually feature as well. Our daughter also gets to stay up later than normal again tonight.
– Sunday is Sunday Family Day – it’s our religion. It’s the only day of the week that Israel doesn’t work, so we make a BIG deal of it. We have special little rituals such as a picnic blanket in front of the TV with a scrumptious homemade feast of fresh fruit and something yummy (eg. banana pikelets, quinoa friands, buttermilk scones) I make. We eat our brekkie whilst watching cartoons – a massive treat for the kids. Then we tend to go to the beach, a bike ride or sometimes we just do nothing. In the afternoon, I spend time in the kitchen baking up a storm for the week ahead and making our Sunday Family Night Roast Dinner.
All of these days have come to mean something special to us all. It’s safe. It’s sound. We all belong. These are our rituals. Yes, I guess you could kind of say it’s a routine, but to us, these rituals are the fun stuff that make the other days of school time just routine.
I chose to write this article because this weekend we will be breaking our Sunday Family Day ritual because of the Mad Food Science Family Live Event we’ll be running, as part of our Kids Health Quest Membership. I am already feeling like I miss so much of my kids growing up, by how much time they are at school and other activities. So I held them close and sniffed them in this morning and this afternoon, but it just doesn’t seem to be enough sometimes. Israel feels the same. Today he kept saying to the kids “just sit with me”. He just needs to be with them too.
So whilst research shows family rituals and routines are important to kids because they create a sense of safety, today more than ever, I feel those rituals are just as important for us as parents.
Do you have any special family rituals?
What’s your favourite day of the week and why?
Share your answers in the comments so others can benefit from your ideas too.
Articles worthy of a read:
– Huffington Post – The importance of Rituals and Routines for Familes
– Two of Us.org – Routines and Rituals Strengthen Families