Healthy eating for kids is almost like the Holy Grail of parenthood. As parents, we often ask: “How can I get my child to enjoy eating healthy foods?” We worry whether our kids will like what we serve them, and whether they’ll reject it and go hungry instead. We get stressed simply figuring out what to serve them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Then there’s the parental guilt we always carry around, knowing deep down that we could probably be doing better. And we all shudder at the fear our child could be, or already is … (dramatic pause) … A Fussy Eater!
I want to help you with all those concerns, but I’m going to take a different approach with this article. I’m going to get the mirror out, and invite you to take a look at your own habits, preconceptions, and behaviours around food.
Let me start off with this question:
When it comes to your children eating healthy food, are you your own worst enemy?
I know parenting is a tough gig. I know you’re doing the best you can with the information and tools you have available. I know this question might make you feel uncomfortable or a little challenged or confronted.
That’s okay, and I totally understand. Remember though, I’m also here to help you do better for your family, and that often starts with new ideas and thought processes. Stay with me on this one, and let’s see what we uncover together.
What I Hear Parents Say
Over the past 3 weeks I have had the enormous privilege of educating over 570 children and parents in how fruits and vegetables help our bodies, and how most packaged “pretend” foods really do nothing for our bodies. It has been so rewarding to see children and adults learn something new, then take it away and make changes in their lives. (Check the Australian Tour Newcastle Report post for the full run down.)
During these past 3 weeks – as well as the past 2 years – I heard many variations on these comments from parents:
“My kids won’t eat that.”
“She’s a fussy eater.”
“Just give him a tiny bit because he won’t like it.”
“I can’t give up [insert junk food], so I just buy it for the kids too.”
(The actual example was Frozen Cokes… with 12 tspns of sugar each!)
“I just give [insert processed food] to them because it keeps them quiet.”
“I serve them one dinner, and cook myself something else.”
and so on…
Deeper Questions For You
Do any of those comments above sound familiar? Have you had these, or similar thoughts?
You’re not alone. And while I am certain you know your children better than anyone else – better even than the family doctor – there are some deeper questions you need to answer.
WHAT IF… You’re making food decisions for your children based on their previous tastes, but now their tastes have changed?
Children’s taste buds develop as they grow. Research shows that it takes children 7-12 tastes of a particular new food before they really determine if they like it or dislike it. Quite often though, we don’t let them try the new food again because they didn’t like it the first or second time.
Research also shows that the more a child is exposed to a new food – i.e. the more they see it on their dinner plate – the more likely they will overcome an aversion to it. If you keep putting that new food on your child’s dinner plate, they’ll gradually get used to it, will probably start eating it, and may come to love it!
Our son HATED carrots for a solid 6 months last year, and after being persistent with putting them on his plate, now he LOVES them, and will wander around chomping on a raw carrot. This year we saw the same behaviour with Sweet Potato. Gentle persistence paid off, and now he loves it and asks for it several times a week!
Children are also heavily influenced by marketing. A recent study gave a group of children 2 identical pieces of food, but with one presented in its recognisable marketed packaging, and the other just wrapped plainly. The children more commonly chose the one in the recognisable marketed packaging. This further lends itself to the point about exposing children more frequently to fruits and vegetables – this is your way of marketing it to them.
WHAT IF… You’ve given in to your child’s whinging too many times, and now giving in has become a habit?
We’ve all caved at one point or another, and every now and then it’s okay. We might have had a stressful day, the kids have been driving us crazy, and so on. We all know the feeling of “Oh for goodness’ sake. Just have this and be quiet, will you?”
Often what happens when we “give in” to the whinging, is that we’ll serve the kids junk food, or bland, nutrient-poor food to keep them quiet, because we know they’ll eat it. However, there are several problems with this reaction:
- Every time this happens it’s a lost opportunity to expand their palate and give them a new taste experience, and over time this leads to your kids becoming Fussy Eaters.
- By giving in, we are rewarding our child’s bad behaviour, by giving our children what they want. Each time this occurs, we are being trained to give them junk/poor food when they throw a tanty, and we are training them to expect that kind of food when they whinge.
- Our kids don’t actually know yet what is healthy for their bodies, we do. It’s up to us to lead by example, and make the right choices on their behalf until they’re old enough to make those choices for themselves. (Like around age 30… haha)
- Habits take time and energy to form, but they take more time and energy to break. If we allow ourselves to form habits around bad food choices for us and our kids, it sets us on a path of bad health.
WHAT IF… You’ve assumed your children will have the same taste preferences as you?
We might not like a certain food, after having tried it a few times as a child or as an adult, and so we assume that our children won’t like the same foods as us – often without giving them the chance to taste it themselves.
Remember, a child’s palate is very different to an adult’s palate – who actually liked beer, red wine, blue cheese or anchovies the first time they tried it? We need to give our children the chance to make up their own minds, and we need to accept that they might have completely different tastes to us, and they might need 7-12 tastes of a new food before they really decide yes or no.
If we create a negative association with foods before our kids try it, we are making the decision for them, before they’ve even had a chance to learn and discover new tastes for themselves.
WHAT IF… You use sugary / processed foods as rewards and associate them with fun situations?
When we use sugary / processed foods as rewards, they become a positive association in our child’s impressionable, developing brain. This distorts their perception of what they should eat.
And sometimes, we get a little too stressed about them eating their vegetables, which can form a negative association.
Every person will move away from the negative and move towards the positive, so by reinforcing these positive and negative associations, we can give children the emotional eating behaviour of eating sugary / processed foods every time they experience something negative.
Here’s the thing: You may be selling your kids and yourself short. You may be making judgement calls on what your kids will and won’t eat, without giving them the chance to really taste food.
Why Does This Even Matter?
In simple terms? The food we eat can have a massive influence on mood, behaviour, concentration, skin ailments, headaches, respiratory conditions and our health in general.
The food your child eats gives them the nutrients they need to grow and develop. The food decisions we make for them now will become the decisions they make for themselves once they’re teenagers or adults.
But How Much Impact Does Food Have, Really?
Consider a child who lacks concentration or who is easily distracted. This will likely be a source of worry or grief both at home and at school. If this child is regularly eating packaged foods which contain flavour enhancers, sugars, or other chemical preservatives or colourings, this would almost certainly be contributing to their lack of concentration.
As parents, once we are aware of this, we have the knowledge and the power to take action. We can test removing these foods from a child’s diet, to see what changes occur. Most of the time, you will see some minor – or even major – improvements from cleaning up your child’s diet.
Your life would be easier and your children’s health would be better if you simply fed your children real food, and gave them more opportunities to see it, taste it, and learn to like it.
If you make poor food choices based on any of the What If’s above, you may be your own worst enemy when it comes to getting your child to eat healthy food.
So What Do I Do Now?
You may be feeling a bit overwhelmed right now, after realising that you might have been a decent part of the reason why your child eats the way they do. That’s okay, too. Wherever you are at is totally perfect, because now you’ve learned awareness of what you often do regarding food, and the next time those “What If” moments occur, you will recognise them.
Here’s 4 simple tips that will help you change your own and your child’s behaviours around food, and help you achieve the holy grail of healthy eating for kids!
1. Don’t give up too soon
One or two attempts to get children to eat something often isn’t enough. Remember children need to see, feel and taste food from 7-12 times to really decide if they do or don’t like it.
Try again. Keep trying. Be patient. Be persistent.
2. Make it Fun
Try not to stress about foods. Baby Love Author Robyn Barker says it’s our job to feed them, it’s their job to eat. There is a certain amount of freedom that comes with meal times if you adopt this philosophy. No stress equals a more fun meal time for all.
Whilst food should be tasted, the reality is that it’s just as much about the experience as it is the taste. How does it look? Is it fun? As well as: How does it taste? Try doing meals such as pick plates which encourages the choice of foods from a platter.
3. Be prepared
Be prepared to stand firm. You’ll get some resistance but keep trying.
Be prepared to eat leftovers for your own lunch. This happens when you are introducing foods they don’t usually eat.
Be prepared to start making different choices at the supermarket. If you find yourself buying foods you would prefer them not to eat, STOP and ask yourself why you are still buying it.
Then, don’t buy it, and either find a better alternative, or make sure you have access to plenty of other foods you want them to eat.
4. Be the role model
Be the role model your children need you to be. If you want them to eat certain foods, ensure you eat it too and preferably with them. If you don’t want them to eat certain foods, ensure you do not eat them yourself – otherwise this is like a double standard.
So now it’s over to you.
Have you had any of these experiences? Do you have any other suggestions or tips to stop yourself being your own worst enemy regarding healthy eating for kids? Let me know in the comments below.