Since I became a Health Coach 4 years ago, I can’t tell you how many times mum’s have said to me “I’m a horrible mother”. But in the last five months since we’ve taken our Australian Tour to Transform Children’s Health on the road, I have been hearing it way too much. It’s time we stopped beating ourselves up.
If you’ve ever said or thought I am a horrible mother, I’m a meanie or words to that effect, consider this a pep talk.
You are NOT a horrible mother. We are all doing our best in this crazy world with the information, tools and resources we have available to us. In reality, we’re all just trying to be Superwoman and sometimes we make it, sometimes we don’t. Our kids still love us. We are not horrible mothers.
From experience, mum’s who say this about themselves tend to fall into 3 groups. Find the group which most matches where you are at, read your pep talk, and I’ve also included a few action items for you to take.
1. You limit processed foods and refined sugar
It’s easy when you’re taking this stand to feel like you’re the odd one out. You may have even had people say things like:
- you’re depriving your child of their childhood
- you’re too extreme
- come on, everything in moderation, one won’t hurt
- I ate that when I was growing up, and I turned out ok.
It’s easy in this environment to feel like you’re being horrible or being a meanie to your kids because you’re preventing them from having foods their friends may be having.
My message to you
Congratulations! You are not a horrible mother. You are simply being a stand for your children’s health. Don’t ever feel like you are doing the wrong thing. Remind yourself of this. If you don’t take a stand or your children’s health, who will? The answer is no-one, because it’s not their responsibility – it’s yours, and you’re doing a great job.
My actions for you
- Acknowledge yourself – it is not easy being this stand in today’s world, but you are doing it.
- Affirm daily to yourself, I am taking a stand for my children’s health. I’m giving them the best chance to health in adulthood that I can.
- Print off our Children’s Health Manifesto and put it up as a reminder that you’re on the right track
- Keep doing what you’re doing
2. You have packet foods in your pantry and lunchboxes
Seriously, it’s ok. You may think you’re a horrible mother because:
- you’ve discovered many of these foods have too much sugar and/or have additives and preservatives which can affect your children’s health
- you don’t have time to cook everything from scratch
- you’re children are fussy eaters and it’s too hard
It’s easy to be in the position where you have more packaged foods in your pantry than you realised. In the 70’s there was only 3,000 to 4,000 packaged products on the supermarket shelf. Today it is estimated there are some 80,000 . And what’s more, in the 40 years in between, more women have returned to the work force than ever before. Our children seem to have more after school activities than ever before. We are more stressed and tired than ever before. Advertising of these foods are everywhere – from bus shelters to our TV’s. It’s easy to have fallen for what advertising has told us – this food will make our life easier, it’s delicious, it’s healthy, our kids want it.
My message for you
There’s no guilt here. You are not a horrible mother. You’ve been doing the best you can, with the information you have available to you. Where-ever you are at, is totally perfect. Everyone has a starting point. Let today be your starting point.
My actions for you
- Acknowledge yourself – you’ve been doing the best you can, and now you know more, commit to making a stand for your children’s health.
- Identify real food (fruits and vegetables your children like), and just include more of these into your daily food.
- Minimise packet food – choose 2 packet foods you now know you would prefer your children not to be having and find recipes or better alternatives for these. Concentrate on making these 2 foods a new way of life. Once you have accomplished this, tackle another 2.
- Affirm to yourself daily – I am taking a stand for my children’s health. I’m giving them the best chance to health in adulthood that I can. I have to do this, because no-one else is going to do it for them, it’s my responsibility.
- You may like to join the next term of The 5 Minute Healthy Lunchbox System eCourse. There’s menu plans, shopping lists and recipes, plus education modules to help you get started. And of course, you get a great community of like minded parents who will hold your hand and support you. Or if you would prefer a more personal approach, I am happy to coach you one on one via skype. Together we can develop your own personal action plan.
3. I know I need to do better, but don’t know how to start
Great work! Sometimes just realising this is the hardest step, but this does not make you a horrible mother. You have:
- identified you want to do better
- and are putting your hand up for help
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed. There is so much information out there about what’s healthy – some of it is true, some of it is just marketing. And of course, when you’re at the supermarket, how do you know which is just marketing? Then there is the complexity of how do I get the kids to eat better.
My message to you
Overwhelm is an easy place to be in, but you’re not alone. We’re on your team, we’ve got your back. And what’s more, there is a growing community of parents out there who have already been where you are, and have made their way out the other side. They have your back too. Everyone who is taking a stand for their children’s health, wants more people to take the stand because it makes it easier for their children if more people are just eating real food. There is no guilt, we all start from somewhere. Let us help you.
My actions for you
- Acknowledge yourself – you’ve been doing the best you can, and now you know more, commit to making a stand for your children’s health.
- Identify 3 things you would like to do better. Choose 1 to start on. Research how you can make the change and just start doing that one thing. Make that one thing a way of life, then tackle the next, make that a way of life and so on.
- Affirm to yourself daily – I am taking a stand for my children’s health. I’m giving them the best chance to health in adulthood that I can. I have to do this, because no-one else is going to do it for them, it’s my responsibility.
- You may like to join the next term of The 5 Minute Healthy Lunchbox System eCourse. There’s menu plans, shopping lists and recipes, plus education modules to help you get started. And of course, you get a great community of like minded parents who will hold your hand and support you. Or if you would prefer a more personal approach, I am happy to coach you one on one via skype. Together we can develop your own personal action plan.
Now repeat after me. I love my children unconditionally, and I am doing the best I can. I am committed to being a stand for my children’s health.
Recommended Viewing
Below are 2 shows I recommend as being helpful in keeping you committed to being a stand for your children’s health.
Michael Pollan talking about what’s happened to our food supply. This is a real eye opener and kind of one of those moments when you think, OMG it all makes so much sense as to how we’ve ended up in this mess where health is on the decline in many countries.
That Sugar Film – seriously a fantastic movie for all ages which highlights just how sugar has become such a big part of our lives, without us even realising it.